The business world works in mysterious ways…or does it? Columnist Jeff Haden details six laws of business you’ve never heard of, because he made them up.

Six Laws of Business

1. Helmsley’s Law of Deteriorating Personality

The bigger your balance sheet, the more likely you are to become a jerk.

2. The Universal Doctrine of Policy Expansion

The more employee policies you put in place, the less likely you are to treat employees fairly.

3. The Law of Diminishing Participation Returns

The more people who have input into a decision the less valuable the outcome.

4. The Inverse Square Rule of Proximity

The less time you spend with your employees, the lower their engagement and level of performance.

5. The Inverse Square Rule of Attractiveness

The closer you are to me the less attractive I appear.

6. Eastwood’s First Law of Silence

The people who say the most have the least to say.

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